i4L Podcast: Uncomfortable Wisdom for a Better Life: Information & Insight for Your Life™
The i4L Podcast delivers real insight for people who are done chasing easy answers.
Hosted by Daniel Boyd, a former military engineer, licensed counselor and therapist at the master’s level, and lifelong truth-seeker, this show tackles the uncomfortable truths behind growth, trauma, ego, relationships, and identity.
We blend lived experience with peer-reviewed research to break down what actually helps people evolve.
From Spiral Dynamics and emotional regulation to true narcissism, self-deception, and post-trauma integration, this isn’t your typical performative self-help.
It’s Information & Insight for Your Life™.
If you’re tired of the noise, you’re in the right place.
🔍 Subscribe to join a growing community of thinkers, seekers, and skeptics ready to grow through what they’d rather avoid.
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Real Talk Add-on:
This podcast has evolved over the last three years; just like I have, and just like (hopefully) we all do.
Some episodes will land hard. Some might miss. That’s the reality of growth. It’s not always polished, but it’s always real.
And yeah, let’s be honest: the algorithm rarely favors shows like this.
Not when it’s built on nuance instead of outrage.
But that’s not the point.
If an episode hits you in a way that matters, share it with someone who’s ready for more than surface-level.
This isn’t a performance. This is the work.
And the ones who need it most?
Sometimes they’ll only hear it when it’s placed directly in front of them. By another human.
i4L Podcast: Uncomfortable Wisdom for a Better Life: Information & Insight for Your Life™
Social Media Is a Simulation. You’re Not Influencing Anyone. | The Reckoning Part 11
We think we’re shaping minds online. We’re mostly feeding an algorithm. This episode cuts through the illusion of “influence” and names the loop for what it is: a self-licking ice cream cone that rewards repetition, not truth. We break down how the engagement economy hijacks attention, why viral rarely equals vital, and what real impact looks like offline where it costs something. Then we give you a way out that does not require disappearing: signal with intention, measure by integrity, and build presence where your life actually lives.
Key terms in plain language. Quick science on dopamine and prediction. A gritty practice to reclaim your voice without the performance.
If you are done mistaking applause for impact, this one is your lighthouse.
Primary search phrases: social media simulation. illusion of influence. algorithm dopamine loop. attention economy. NPC culture. parasocial performance. digital minimalism. offline impact. self-licking ice cream cone. presence over performance.
00:00 Social Media: A Hollow Simulation.
What “simulation” means here: a gamified arena that rewards engagement over clarity. Why likes feel good and still leave us unfed. Definition: Dopamine loop = your brain’s reward for predictable hits of attention.
03:04 The Self-Licking Ice Cream Cone.
Simple definition: a system that exists to sustain itself. How feeds, trends, and repost culture keep the machine sweet and hollow. Non-romantic mirror: busy Slack posting that replaces real work.
06:53 The Illusion of Digital Influence.
Viral does not equal vital. Follower count does not equal change. Why reels and carousels raise awareness but rarely change behavior. Quick science: prediction error and intermittent rewards keep you scrolling.
08:34 Signs You’re Caught in the Simulation.
Red flags: anxiety when you do not post. timing obsession. validation over connection. your tone shifts to “what lands” instead of “what is true.” Fast test you can do today.
09:29 What Real Influence Looks Like.
Unsexy and offline. Private repair. mentoring without an audience. decisions that cost you comfort. Work example: one honest policy change beats a year of branded statements.
10:27 Escaping Without Disappearing.
A practical exit. Post with intention, not compulsion. Use platforms like a lighthouse. invest in local, in-person impact. Measure success by integrity, not impressions.
11:19 Finding Meaning Beyond Algorithms.
Presence over performance. Choose metrics only you can measure: truth told. boundary honored. attention given without a phone on the table. Your life thickens where you actually are.
00:00 Social Media: A Hollow Simulation.
03:04 The Self-Licking Ice Cream Cone.
06:53 The Illusion of Digital Influence.
08:34 Signs You’re Caught in the Simulation.
09:29 What Real Influence Looks Like.
10:27 Escaping Without Disappearing.
11:19 Finding Meaning Beyond Algorithms.
Episode 11 of 19. Social media is a simulation. You're not influencing anyone. The reality of the self-licking ice cream cone and what to do when you realize you're in it. Before we dive in, let's name the obvious.
Speaker 1:In a week where a political influencer was killed on stage, the conversation about influence feels heavier. This isn't about him or about politics. It's about the system we're all caught in. Social media promises impact, but the reality Social media, cannot hold the weight of life or death. We're not changing the world through hashtags. We are caught in a loop and if we don't see it, that is autopilot, not awareness. The hard truth A lot of us are basically NPCs, non-player characters in the background.
Speaker 1:Noise of platforms designed to feed our attention. We post, we tweak the caption, we monitor likes, we watch the numbers rise and still something feels empty. That is because it is. We are not shaping minds. We are just spinning in a simulation that rewards the illusion of impact. Social media makes us feel like we're doing something, like we are changing hearts, like we matter. But if we vanish tomorrow, the algorithm wouldn't even notice. Most of our audience wouldn't notice either, because this isn't conversation. Wouldn't even notice. Most of our audience wouldn't notice either, because this isn't conversation. It's a feedback loop, one that only reflects what we already believe. The influencer isn't influential, the activist isn't activating anyone. The content creator is just producing emotional currency for a machine that does not care, a machine that feeds itself A self-licking ice cream cone Endlessly sweet, endlessly hollow. Real influence it doesn't live in pixels, it doesn't ask for applause, it happens offline, inconvenient and uncredited. So if we're still listening, if we haven't numbed out yet, let's go ahead and break this down.
Speaker 1:Section one what the simulation actually is Social media isn't reality, it's a game, a game performative of identity. Our reward isn't truth, it's engagement. The algorithm doesn't care about clarity, it cares about repetition. Say something fresh once it barely lands. Say something predictable a hundred times, the algorithm applauds and the crowd claps along. So we end up speaking to the same echo chamber over and over again, not to change anyone, but to keep the machine fed. And when we confuse applause for impact, we mistake entertainment for evolution. Let's look at an example outside relationships. At work, someone dominates the Slack channel with inspirational posts, but in meetings they never contribute to actual solutions. That is simulation behavior performing relevance without practicing it. Once again, the algorithm doesn't reward truth, it rewards repetition.
Speaker 1:Section 2. The Self-Licking Ice Cream Cone. What is a self-licking ice cream cone? Well, it is a system that exists only to sustain itself.
Speaker 1:And here's the ugly truth. If we're women, especially if we're considered quote-unquote hot, the algorithm already assumes our self-esteem is in the basement. Because how could it not be right? That's the machine's logic. Our worth is clicks, our bodies are bait and our insecurity is profit. And the really sick part the feedback loop trains us to play along Post pose, wait for the drip of dopamine and then repeat. Those who can't see it rage in echo chambers of self-loathing disguised as confidence, npc energy and background noise. But those who do see it, that sting isn't shame, it's awareness clawing its way back. And here's the trap. Creators start thinking well, shit, if I don't feed the machine, I'll disappear. And you will. But here's the kicker we already disappeared, because the machine doesn't care who we are, it only cares that we keep playing. And yes, I know the irony. We say it's about connection, truth, impact, but really most of the truly aware aren't even here. Because why the fuck would they be? The whole system was born from insecurity and ego, built by people trying to get laid, fueled by people desperate to be seen and the ego, it eats it up, it whispers. If it boosts me, it must be choice, it must be control. But that's the trick. We're not choosing, we're being chosen by the simulation. Were being chosen by the simulation. A self-licking ice cream cone tastes sweet, but it never feeds you.
Speaker 1:Section three the illusion of influence. Let's be clear on this. Viral does not equal impactful. Follower count does not equal depth of change. Awareness does not equal transformation. A carousel post won't dismantle anyone's ego defenses. A reel won't rewire our nervous systems. No amount of TikTok replaces a decade of therapy and the work that follows. People don't change because of content. They change when life forces them into discomfort and when they choose to face it Offline, in real time. At best we are reminders, at worst we are just background noise. Viral doesn't mean vital. Even now, we're watching how fast the internet turns tragedy into content. Headlines, hashtags, hot takes, but none of that brings someone back, none of it changes the human cost. That's the gap. Social media gives us delusion of impact, even when the stakes are life and death, and only the dimmest unevolved minds respond to words with bullets. And even dimmer minds are the ones that celebrate it.
Speaker 1:Section 4. How to tell that we are caught in the simulation. Let's ask ourselves do we feel anxious if we don't post simulation? Let's ask ourselves do we feel anxious if we don't post? Do we obsess over timing, reach and trends more than meaning? Do we mistake validation for connection? Can we remember the last time we said something just because it was true, not because it would land? If the answer to any of these questions burns, that's the point. We're not influencing. We are being influenced by platforms designed to keep us addicted. If our truth depends on reach, it is not truth, it is theater.
Speaker 1:Section 5. Real influence feels different. Real influence is slow. It's very unsexy. It's invisible until years later. It looks like that one conversation that shifts someone's trajectory. It looks like showing up for a friend at 2am when there's no audience. It looks like mentoring someone and watching them rise a decade later. Real influence doesn't trend, it doesn't clap, it doesn't care if we feel important, but it does last. Real influence is invisible until it echoes years down the road and you may never even see it it.
Speaker 1:Section 6. How to exit the simulation without disappearing. We don't have to delete every app, but we do need to reclaim our agency Post with intention, not compulsion. Focus on depth over frequency. Use social media like a lighthouse Signal. Don't beg. Invest in offline relationships and local impact. Measure success by integrity, not impressions. Presence is the antidote to performance. If our life offline feels thin, no amount of posting will thicken it. Use social media like a lighthouse, not a vending machine. Section 7. Influence was never digital. We were never meant to live inside an algorithm. We were meant to shape the air around us Through tone, through touch, through truth. The simulation won't miss us, but the real world will if we show up. So write down one way you've measured your worth in likes or followers. Then replace it with a metric. Only you can measure Truth told, boundary, honored, presence offered. Remember, the simulation will not miss us, but again, the real world will If we show up. Yeah, I'm out, thank you.
